consequently i now know what mace tastes like
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
