I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
