WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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