are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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