for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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