so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
