Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
