At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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