Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
