i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i dont even know how to be here
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
