last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
