For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
