I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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