i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
