My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
