i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
