I just saw a hot homeless man
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
third nipple confirmed
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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