In America we eat man semen.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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