i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The adults are the big ones right?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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