Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
