I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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