I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
