Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Sober January is a disaster.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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