Christians are straight up FREAKS
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
