my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm both gender and math confused
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
