I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
