you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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