Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
