If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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