we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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