I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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