i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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