the condom got lost in my hair
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
