i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
