margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
where are my eyebrows?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
