Sry I called you an 8
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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