I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
