The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
