would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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