I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
