I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
