Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
