we have officially lost it.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
