there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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