I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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