there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
So many bounce houses so little time
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
