I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Pants are for mortals
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
