Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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