You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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