discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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